Showing posts with label Family Peace. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Family Peace. Show all posts
Wednesday, 18 November 2015
Monday, 2 November 2015
Can you evade breast cancer? Can men get it? Common myths associated with breast cancer!! Signs to watch out for!! Were do Indian women stand ? - from TOI
Can you evade breast cancer?
While some factors are beyond our control, Dr. Neelesh Reddy, Consultant Medical Oncologist, Columbia Asia Hospitals points out five healthy lifestyle habits that can help lower breast cancer risk.
Maintain a healthy weight: Overweight or obese women are at a higher risk of developing breast cancer than leaner women. This is because fat cells release substances including estrogen, which can stimulate cell growth and breast cancer. Regular exercise can also go a long way in improving your body's metabolism and controlling weight.
Give up red meat: Studies have found that the risk of developing breast cancer is more with the increasing amounts of red meat. According to statistics, for every additional daily serving of red meat, the risk of breast cancer increases by 13% and by 54% in women consuming oral contraceptive pills. Instead, one can opt for fish. The Omega-3 fatty acids and other nutrients from fish help lower breast cancer risk.
Cut back on booze and avoid smoking: Avoiding alcohol is as important as losing weight. It has been proven that more alcohol you drink, greater you are at a risk of developing breast cancer. However, if you choose to drink alcohol — including beer, wine or liquor — try to limit yourself to no more than one - two drink/week. It has also been proven that smoking leads to increase in breast cancer. Also, since smoking is an important risk factor for cancer in general, it only makes sense to avoid it. Women who drink an average of 2 alcoholic beverages per day increase their breast cancer risk by 21%.
Limit dose and duration of hormone therapy: Combination hormone therapy for more than three to five years increases the risk of breast cancer. If you're taking hormone therapy for menopausal symptoms, ask your doctor about other options. You may be able to manage your symptoms with non-hormonal therapies, such as physical activity.
Eat healthy and include fibers in your diet: Whether it comes from fruits, veggies or whole grains, fiber is good for breast health. Embrace a diet high in vegetables and fruit and low in sugared drinks, refined carbohydrates and fatty foods. Eat lean protein such as fish or chicken breast and eat red meat in moderation, if at all. Eat whole grains. Choose vegetable oils over animal fats. Studies have found as much as a 5% reduction in breast cancer risk per every 10 grams of fiber added to a woman's diet per day.
Avoid delaying motherhood: Women who delay having their first child until later in life or who never have children are at a higher risk for breast cancer. In contrast, having children at a younger age and breastfeeding decrease the risk of developing breast cancer
Is your bra responsible for breast cancer?
According to the American Cancer Society, there is no evidence that compression of the lymph nodes by bras causes breast cancer. "In reality, body fluids travel up and into the underarm lymph nodes, not towards the underwire. It was believed by many that underwired bras cause compression of lymphnodes and increase chances of breast cancer. Similarly, there is no sufficient evidence that any type of bra cause breast cancer. If the lady is overweight with large breasts, then the weight is a cause which can increase her risk of breast cancer but not the underwired bra she is wearing. It would make sense that women with larger breasts are both more likely to wear underwire bras and more likely to develop breast cancer. But this doesn't mean that underwire bras cause breast cancer," opines Dr Anuradha Kapur, Lead consultant and Head of Unit, Max Super Specialty hospital, Saket.
Common myths associated with breast cancer....
See http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/life-style/health-fitness/health-news/Can-you-escape-breast-cancer/articleshow/49629018.cms
While some factors are beyond our control, Dr. Neelesh Reddy, Consultant Medical Oncologist, Columbia Asia Hospitals points out five healthy lifestyle habits that can help lower breast cancer risk.
Maintain a healthy weight: Overweight or obese women are at a higher risk of developing breast cancer than leaner women. This is because fat cells release substances including estrogen, which can stimulate cell growth and breast cancer. Regular exercise can also go a long way in improving your body's metabolism and controlling weight.
Give up red meat: Studies have found that the risk of developing breast cancer is more with the increasing amounts of red meat. According to statistics, for every additional daily serving of red meat, the risk of breast cancer increases by 13% and by 54% in women consuming oral contraceptive pills. Instead, one can opt for fish. The Omega-3 fatty acids and other nutrients from fish help lower breast cancer risk.
Cut back on booze and avoid smoking: Avoiding alcohol is as important as losing weight. It has been proven that more alcohol you drink, greater you are at a risk of developing breast cancer. However, if you choose to drink alcohol — including beer, wine or liquor — try to limit yourself to no more than one - two drink/week. It has also been proven that smoking leads to increase in breast cancer. Also, since smoking is an important risk factor for cancer in general, it only makes sense to avoid it. Women who drink an average of 2 alcoholic beverages per day increase their breast cancer risk by 21%.
Limit dose and duration of hormone therapy: Combination hormone therapy for more than three to five years increases the risk of breast cancer. If you're taking hormone therapy for menopausal symptoms, ask your doctor about other options. You may be able to manage your symptoms with non-hormonal therapies, such as physical activity.
Eat healthy and include fibers in your diet: Whether it comes from fruits, veggies or whole grains, fiber is good for breast health. Embrace a diet high in vegetables and fruit and low in sugared drinks, refined carbohydrates and fatty foods. Eat lean protein such as fish or chicken breast and eat red meat in moderation, if at all. Eat whole grains. Choose vegetable oils over animal fats. Studies have found as much as a 5% reduction in breast cancer risk per every 10 grams of fiber added to a woman's diet per day.
Avoid delaying motherhood: Women who delay having their first child until later in life or who never have children are at a higher risk for breast cancer. In contrast, having children at a younger age and breastfeeding decrease the risk of developing breast cancer
Is your bra responsible for breast cancer?
According to the American Cancer Society, there is no evidence that compression of the lymph nodes by bras causes breast cancer. "In reality, body fluids travel up and into the underarm lymph nodes, not towards the underwire. It was believed by many that underwired bras cause compression of lymphnodes and increase chances of breast cancer. Similarly, there is no sufficient evidence that any type of bra cause breast cancer. If the lady is overweight with large breasts, then the weight is a cause which can increase her risk of breast cancer but not the underwired bra she is wearing. It would make sense that women with larger breasts are both more likely to wear underwire bras and more likely to develop breast cancer. But this doesn't mean that underwire bras cause breast cancer," opines Dr Anuradha Kapur, Lead consultant and Head of Unit, Max Super Specialty hospital, Saket.
Common myths associated with breast cancer....
See http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/life-style/health-fitness/health-news/Can-you-escape-breast-cancer/articleshow/49629018.cms
Thursday, 1 October 2015
Wednesday, 23 September 2015
Dislike you,but Like you!!
Tuesday, 22 September 2015
Kite's string-is it hampering the kite??
From Whatsapp: Father is flying a kite. His son is watching him carefully.
After some time son says "Dad. Because of the string the kite is not able to go any further higher."
Hearing this, the father smiles and breaks the string.
The kite goes higher after breaking of the thread and then shortly after that it comes and falls on the ground.
The child is very dejected and sad.
The father sits next to him and calmly explains:
"Son, in life we reach a certain level of prosperity and then we feel that there are certain things in our life that are not letting us grow any further like Home, Family, Culture, Friendship etc. We feel we want to be free from those strings which we believe are stopping us from going higher."
"But, remember son. Going higher is easier than staying at the higher level."
"And friends, family and culture etc are the things that will help us stay stable at the high heights that we have achieved. If we try to break away from those strings our condition will be similar to the kite."
Moral
"Never go away from culture, family, friends and relationships as they help keep us stable while you are flying high."
Life is Beautiful Stay connected.
Saturday, 19 September 2015
How our ego & wrong attitudes, handicaps us!! 8 boys were standing on a track for racing....
8 boys were standing on a track for racing.
Ready !
Steady !
Bang !
With sound of Pistol all boys started running.
Hardly had they covered 10 to 15 steps,
1 boy slipped & fell.
He started crying due to pain.
When other 7 Boys heard him, all of them STOPPED running..
STOOD for a while,
turned BACK & RAN
towards him.
All the 7 Boys LIFTED the Boy,
pacified him,
joined hands together,
walked together &
reached WINNING Post.
Officials were shocked.
Many Eyes were
filled with tears.
It happened at Pune.
Race was conducted by
National Institute of
Mental Health...
All participants were
Mentally RETARDED.
What did they teach ?
We Surely can NEVER Do this,
because...
We have Brains....
We have Ego...
We have Attitude
Ready !
Steady !
Bang !
With sound of Pistol all boys started running.
Hardly had they covered 10 to 15 steps,
1 boy slipped & fell.
He started crying due to pain.
When other 7 Boys heard him, all of them STOPPED running..
STOOD for a while,
turned BACK & RAN
towards him.
All the 7 Boys LIFTED the Boy,
pacified him,
joined hands together,
walked together &
reached WINNING Post.
Officials were shocked.
Many Eyes were
filled with tears.
It happened at Pune.
Race was conducted by
National Institute of
Mental Health...
All participants were
Mentally RETARDED.
What did they teach ?
- Teamwork,
- Humanity,
- Sportsman spirit,
- Love,
- Care &
- Equality..
We Surely can NEVER Do this,
because...
We have Brains....
We have Ego...
We have Attitude
A RUPEE NOTE - What it can teach u? Two lessons from 2 short stories
A RUPEE NOTE - What it can teach u? Two lessons from 2 short stories
Prakash Iyer, MD, Kimberly-Clark Lever and Executive Coach from Pune shares two important management lessons he learnt from a 500-rupee note. Read on.
1. It happened some years ago but I can recall the evening like it happened just last week.
I was in an audience listening to a motivational guru.
The speaker whipped out his wallet and pulled out a five hundred-rupee note.
Holding it up, he asked, "Who wants this five hundred rupee note?"
Lots of hands went up. Including mine.
A slow chorus began to build as people began to shout "Me!" "Me!"
I began to wonder who the lucky one would be who the speaker would choose.
And I also secretly wondered -- and I am sure others did too -- why he would simply give away five hundred rupees.
Even as the shouts of "I want it" grew louder, I noticed a young woman running down the aisle.
She ran up onto the stage, went up to the speaker, and grabbed the five hundred-rupee note from his hand. "Well done, young lady," said the speaker into the microphone.
"Most of us just wait for good things to happen. That's of no use. You've got to make things happen."
The speaker's words have stayed with me ever since.
'Simply thinking about doing something is of no use'
Our lives are like that. We all see opportunities around us. We all want the good things.
But the problem is we don't take action.
We all want the five hundred rupee notes on offer. But we don't make the move. We look at it longingly.Get up, and do something about it. Don't worry about what other people might think. Take action.
2. Several years later, it was another day, another time.
And another motivational guru.
As I watched him pull out a five hundred rupee note and hold it up for all to see, I thought I knew what he was going to do next. But he just asked a simple question. "How much is this worth?"
"Five Hundred rupees!" the crowd yelled in unison.
"Right," said the speaker. He then took the note and crumpled it into a ball and asked "How much is it worth now?"
"Five Hundred rupees!" screamed the audience.
He then threw the note on the ground, stamped all over it and picked up the note and asked one more time: "And how much is it worth now?"
"Five Hundred rupees!" was the response.
"I want you to remember this," said the speaker.
"Just because someone crumples it, or stamps on it, the value of the note does not diminish.
We should all be like the five hundred rupee note..
In our lives, there will be times when we feel crushed, stamped over, beaten. But never let your self-worth diminish. Just because someone chooses to crush you -- that doesn't change your worth one bit!
Don't allow your self-worth to diminish because someone says something nasty -- or does something dirty -- to you."
'Never let your self-worth diminish
Prakash Iyer, MD, Kimberly-Clark Lever and Executive Coach from Pune shares two important management lessons he learnt from a 500-rupee note. Read on.
1. It happened some years ago but I can recall the evening like it happened just last week.
I was in an audience listening to a motivational guru.
The speaker whipped out his wallet and pulled out a five hundred-rupee note.
Holding it up, he asked, "Who wants this five hundred rupee note?"
Lots of hands went up. Including mine.
A slow chorus began to build as people began to shout "Me!" "Me!"
I began to wonder who the lucky one would be who the speaker would choose.
And I also secretly wondered -- and I am sure others did too -- why he would simply give away five hundred rupees.
Even as the shouts of "I want it" grew louder, I noticed a young woman running down the aisle.
She ran up onto the stage, went up to the speaker, and grabbed the five hundred-rupee note from his hand. "Well done, young lady," said the speaker into the microphone.
"Most of us just wait for good things to happen. That's of no use. You've got to make things happen."
The speaker's words have stayed with me ever since.
'Simply thinking about doing something is of no use'
Our lives are like that. We all see opportunities around us. We all want the good things.
But the problem is we don't take action.
We all want the five hundred rupee notes on offer. But we don't make the move. We look at it longingly.Get up, and do something about it. Don't worry about what other people might think. Take action.
2. Several years later, it was another day, another time.
And another motivational guru.
As I watched him pull out a five hundred rupee note and hold it up for all to see, I thought I knew what he was going to do next. But he just asked a simple question. "How much is this worth?"
"Five Hundred rupees!" the crowd yelled in unison.
"Right," said the speaker. He then took the note and crumpled it into a ball and asked "How much is it worth now?"
"Five Hundred rupees!" screamed the audience.
He then threw the note on the ground, stamped all over it and picked up the note and asked one more time: "And how much is it worth now?"
"Five Hundred rupees!" was the response.
"I want you to remember this," said the speaker.
"Just because someone crumples it, or stamps on it, the value of the note does not diminish.
We should all be like the five hundred rupee note..
In our lives, there will be times when we feel crushed, stamped over, beaten. But never let your self-worth diminish. Just because someone chooses to crush you -- that doesn't change your worth one bit!
Don't allow your self-worth to diminish because someone says something nasty -- or does something dirty -- to you."
'Never let your self-worth diminish
Next time someone needs you, just be there! & just stay! Dont lose opprtunity to be there for someone in need
From Whatsapp forward...
The on-duty nurse took the anxious young Major to the bedside.
“Your son is here,” she said softly, to the old man lying there.
She had to repeat the words several times before the patient’s eyes opened.
Heavily sedated because of the pain of his heart attack, he dimly saw the young uniformed Major standing outside the oxygen tent.
He reached out his hand.
The Major wrapped his toughened fingers around the old man’s limp ones, squeezing a message of love and encouragement.
The nurse, observing the touching moments, brought a chair so that the Major could sit beside the bed.
“Thank you Ma’am!” a polite acknowledgement followed.
All through the night the young Major sat there in the poorly lit ward, holding the old man’s hand and offering him words of love and strength. Occasionally, the nurse suggested that the officer move away and rest awhile.
He graciously refused.
Whenever the nurse came into the ward, he was oblivious of her and of the night noises of the hospital – the clanking of the oxygen tank, the laughter of the night staff members exchanging greetings, the cries and moans of the other patients.
Now and then she heard him say a few gentle words. The dying man said nothing, only held tightly to his son all through the night.
Along towards dawn, the old man died. The Major released the now lifeless hand he had been holding and went to tell the nurse.
While she did what she had to do, he waited,
Finally, she returned,- & started to offer words of sympathy, but the Major interrupted her.
“Who was that man?” he asked.
The nurse was startled,
“He was your father,” she answered.
“No, he wasn’t,” the Major replied.
“I never saw him before in my life.”
“Then why didn’t you say something when I took you to him?”
“I knew right away there had been a mistake, but I also knew he needed his son, and his son just wasn’t here!”
The nurse listened on, confused.
“When I realized that he was too sick to tell whether or not I was his son, knowing how much he needed me, I stayed.”
“So then what was the purpose of your visit here, at the hospital, good sir?”, the nurse queried of him.
“I came here tonight to find a Mr. Vikram Salaria.
His son was Killed in J&K last night, and I was sent to inform him.”
‘But the man whose hand you kept holding whole night was Mr Vikram Salaria!’
They stood in complete silence. There couldn’t be anything more assuring for a dying man than his son’s hand!
The next time someone needs you, just be there!
&
Just stay!
We Are Not Human Beings Going Through A Temporary Spiritual Experience; We Are Spiritual Beings Going Through A Temporary Human Experience
The on-duty nurse took the anxious young Major to the bedside.
“Your son is here,” she said softly, to the old man lying there.
She had to repeat the words several times before the patient’s eyes opened.
Heavily sedated because of the pain of his heart attack, he dimly saw the young uniformed Major standing outside the oxygen tent.
He reached out his hand.
The Major wrapped his toughened fingers around the old man’s limp ones, squeezing a message of love and encouragement.
The nurse, observing the touching moments, brought a chair so that the Major could sit beside the bed.
“Thank you Ma’am!” a polite acknowledgement followed.
All through the night the young Major sat there in the poorly lit ward, holding the old man’s hand and offering him words of love and strength. Occasionally, the nurse suggested that the officer move away and rest awhile.
He graciously refused.
Whenever the nurse came into the ward, he was oblivious of her and of the night noises of the hospital – the clanking of the oxygen tank, the laughter of the night staff members exchanging greetings, the cries and moans of the other patients.
Now and then she heard him say a few gentle words. The dying man said nothing, only held tightly to his son all through the night.
Along towards dawn, the old man died. The Major released the now lifeless hand he had been holding and went to tell the nurse.
While she did what she had to do, he waited,
Finally, she returned,- & started to offer words of sympathy, but the Major interrupted her.
“Who was that man?” he asked.
The nurse was startled,
“He was your father,” she answered.
“No, he wasn’t,” the Major replied.
“I never saw him before in my life.”
“Then why didn’t you say something when I took you to him?”
“I knew right away there had been a mistake, but I also knew he needed his son, and his son just wasn’t here!”
The nurse listened on, confused.
“When I realized that he was too sick to tell whether or not I was his son, knowing how much he needed me, I stayed.”
“So then what was the purpose of your visit here, at the hospital, good sir?”, the nurse queried of him.
“I came here tonight to find a Mr. Vikram Salaria.
His son was Killed in J&K last night, and I was sent to inform him.”
‘But the man whose hand you kept holding whole night was Mr Vikram Salaria!’
They stood in complete silence. There couldn’t be anything more assuring for a dying man than his son’s hand!
The next time someone needs you, just be there!
&
Just stay!
We Are Not Human Beings Going Through A Temporary Spiritual Experience; We Are Spiritual Beings Going Through A Temporary Human Experience
Women is reintroduced to herself by Dr.JsB - Women's life cycle,Women's problems, Pitfalls, Emotional Turmoils, Approach required, Care required, Roles as Daughter,Daughter-in-law/Mother-in-law etc etc
Women is reintroduced to herself by Dr.JayanthaShri Balakrishnan Shares so many insights about Women's life cycle,Women's problems, Pitfalls, Emotional Turmoils, Approach required, Care required, Roles as Daughter,Daughter-in-law/Mother-in-law etc etc
Part 1 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DmRmwaflzgw (Birth to 15 and 15 to 25 age)
Part 2 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c7ACoflMcNQ (25 to 35 ; 35 to 45 age ; 45 to 55 age)
For full series https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCioXFjn-j1S_XNoMYOoaVmQ/feed
Lucky if you know Tamizh,Get benefited !!
For more topics see http://peace2047.blogspot.in/
Part 1 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DmRmwaflzgw (Birth to 15 and 15 to 25 age)
Part 2 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c7ACoflMcNQ (25 to 35 ; 35 to 45 age ; 45 to 55 age)
For full series https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCioXFjn-j1S_XNoMYOoaVmQ/feed
Lucky if you know Tamizh,Get benefited !!
For more topics see http://peace2047.blogspot.in/
Women: Dont Wory, Be happy! Rest of us change your attitidue ! 5 tips from him to Women - Chetan Bhagat in 2011
http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/edit-page/Dont-worry-Be-happy/articleshow/9237496.cms
Don't worry, Be happy
Alright, this is not cool at all. A recent survey by Nielsen has
revealed that Indian women are the most stressed out in the world: 87%
of our women feel stressed out most of the time. This statistic alone
has caused me to stress out. Even in workaholic America, only 53% women
feel stressed.
What are we doing to our women? I'm biased, but Indian women are the most beautiful in the world. As mothers, sisters, daughters, colleagues, wives and girlfriends - we love them. Can you imagine life without the ladies?
It would be a universe full of messy, aggressive and egomaniacal males running the world, trying to outdo each other for no particular reason. There would be body odour, socks on the floor and nothing in the fridge to eat. The entertainment industry would die. Who wants to watch movies without actresses?
Kids would be neglected and turn into drug addicts or psychopaths by age 10. Soon, all-male world leaders would lose their tempers at the slightest provocation, and bomb the guts out of each other's countries. In short, without women and their sanity, the world would perish.
Yet, look at how we Indians, a land of spiritual people, treat them. At an extreme, we abort girls before they are born, neglect them in their upbringing, torture them, molest them, sell them, rape them and honour-kill them. Of course, these criminal acts are performed by a tiny minority.
However, a majority of us are involved in lesser crimes. We judge, expect too much, don't give space and suffocate our women's individuality. Imagine if you did this to men - won't they be stressed out?
At a broader level, this isn't just about our women. We Indians have a habit of exploiting anyone without power. As a flip side, we are suckers for anyone with power.
We look up to corrupt politicians, keep voting them back, and feel they have an entitlement to loot us silly, because they are in power. In fact, we love power so much that when power comes to a woman, we automatically begin to regard her well too. Goddesses, female politicians, senior mothers in a household with a firm grip on family power - they all get our respect. Anyone else doesn't.
This kind of society, which values power above equality and justice, doesn't achieve too much. These societies remain like backward tribes, because they do not allow people without power to come up, even though they may have many talents. When we don't allow our women to come up, or create stress for them if they do, we are not allowing half of India to come up. When we abuse our power, we kill the exploited person's will to contribute to society. When we believe powerful people are always right, and the less powerful should be crushed, we resemble a jungle of animals. And animals don't progress, humans do.
These regressive attitudes will take a while to change. For now, i want to give Indian women five suggestions to reduce their stress levels. One, don't ever think you are without power. Give it back to that mother-in-law. Be who you are, not someone she wished you would be. She doesn't like you? That's her problem.
Two, if you are doing a good job at work and your boss doesn't value you - tell him that, or quit. Talented, hard-working people are much in demand. Three, educate yourself, learn skills, network - figure out ways to be economically independent. So next time your husband tells you that you are not a good enough wife, mother or daughter-in-law, you can tell him to take a hike.
Four, do not ever feel stressed about having a dual responsibility of family and work. It is difficult, but not impossible. The trick is not to expect an A+ in every aspect of your life. You are not taking an exam, and you frankly can't score cent per cent (unless you are in SRCC, of course). It is okay if you don't make four dishes for lunch, one can fill their stomach with one. It is okay if you don't work until midnight and don't get a promotion. Nobody remembers their job designation on their dying day.
Five, most important, don't get competitive with other women. Someone will make a better scrapbook for her school project than you. Another will lose more weight with a better diet. Your neighbour may make a six-dabba tiffin for her husband, you don't - big deal. Do your best, but don't keep looking out for the report card, and definitely don't expect to top the class. There is no ideal woman in this world, and if you strive to become one, there will be only one thing you will achieve for certain - stress.
So breathe, chill, relax. Tell yourself you are beautiful, do your best and deserve a peaceful life. Anybody trying to take that away from you is making a mistake, not you. Your purpose of coming to this earth is not to please everyone. Your purpose is to offer what you have to the world, and have a good life in return. The next time this survey comes, i don't want to see Indian women on top of the list. I want them to be the happiest women in the world. Now smile, before your mother-in-law shouts at you for wasting your time reading the newspaper.
The writer is a best-selling novelist.
What are we doing to our women? I'm biased, but Indian women are the most beautiful in the world. As mothers, sisters, daughters, colleagues, wives and girlfriends - we love them. Can you imagine life without the ladies?
It would be a universe full of messy, aggressive and egomaniacal males running the world, trying to outdo each other for no particular reason. There would be body odour, socks on the floor and nothing in the fridge to eat. The entertainment industry would die. Who wants to watch movies without actresses?
Kids would be neglected and turn into drug addicts or psychopaths by age 10. Soon, all-male world leaders would lose their tempers at the slightest provocation, and bomb the guts out of each other's countries. In short, without women and their sanity, the world would perish.
Yet, look at how we Indians, a land of spiritual people, treat them. At an extreme, we abort girls before they are born, neglect them in their upbringing, torture them, molest them, sell them, rape them and honour-kill them. Of course, these criminal acts are performed by a tiny minority.
However, a majority of us are involved in lesser crimes. We judge, expect too much, don't give space and suffocate our women's individuality. Imagine if you did this to men - won't they be stressed out?
At a broader level, this isn't just about our women. We Indians have a habit of exploiting anyone without power. As a flip side, we are suckers for anyone with power.
We look up to corrupt politicians, keep voting them back, and feel they have an entitlement to loot us silly, because they are in power. In fact, we love power so much that when power comes to a woman, we automatically begin to regard her well too. Goddesses, female politicians, senior mothers in a household with a firm grip on family power - they all get our respect. Anyone else doesn't.
This kind of society, which values power above equality and justice, doesn't achieve too much. These societies remain like backward tribes, because they do not allow people without power to come up, even though they may have many talents. When we don't allow our women to come up, or create stress for them if they do, we are not allowing half of India to come up. When we abuse our power, we kill the exploited person's will to contribute to society. When we believe powerful people are always right, and the less powerful should be crushed, we resemble a jungle of animals. And animals don't progress, humans do.
These regressive attitudes will take a while to change. For now, i want to give Indian women five suggestions to reduce their stress levels. One, don't ever think you are without power. Give it back to that mother-in-law. Be who you are, not someone she wished you would be. She doesn't like you? That's her problem.
Two, if you are doing a good job at work and your boss doesn't value you - tell him that, or quit. Talented, hard-working people are much in demand. Three, educate yourself, learn skills, network - figure out ways to be economically independent. So next time your husband tells you that you are not a good enough wife, mother or daughter-in-law, you can tell him to take a hike.
Four, do not ever feel stressed about having a dual responsibility of family and work. It is difficult, but not impossible. The trick is not to expect an A+ in every aspect of your life. You are not taking an exam, and you frankly can't score cent per cent (unless you are in SRCC, of course). It is okay if you don't make four dishes for lunch, one can fill their stomach with one. It is okay if you don't work until midnight and don't get a promotion. Nobody remembers their job designation on their dying day.
Five, most important, don't get competitive with other women. Someone will make a better scrapbook for her school project than you. Another will lose more weight with a better diet. Your neighbour may make a six-dabba tiffin for her husband, you don't - big deal. Do your best, but don't keep looking out for the report card, and definitely don't expect to top the class. There is no ideal woman in this world, and if you strive to become one, there will be only one thing you will achieve for certain - stress.
So breathe, chill, relax. Tell yourself you are beautiful, do your best and deserve a peaceful life. Anybody trying to take that away from you is making a mistake, not you. Your purpose of coming to this earth is not to please everyone. Your purpose is to offer what you have to the world, and have a good life in return. The next time this survey comes, i don't want to see Indian women on top of the list. I want them to be the happiest women in the world. Now smile, before your mother-in-law shouts at you for wasting your time reading the newspaper.
The writer is a best-selling novelist.
Friday, 18 September 2015
Appa or Papa - Thank you :)
A real-life example to emulate for all fathers and children. There is parents’ sacrifice behind your success, may that be just passing your exam or becoming a star. We talk about mothers love but often miss to talk about father’s toil. Here Zakir Khan tells about a bond between father-and son, how it evolves with time, how a father becomes a shield for his kids. And we often forget that with time that shield gets old and weak which needs our support.
Lucky if you know Hindi !!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?t=545&v=dYsrdh15XY8
http://thelogicalindian.com/story-feed/get-inspired/watch-you-may-not-have-your-fathers-qualities-but-you-will-never-have-his-weaknesses/
Lucky if you know Hindi !!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?t=545&v=dYsrdh15XY8
http://thelogicalindian.com/story-feed/get-inspired/watch-you-may-not-have-your-fathers-qualities-but-you-will-never-have-his-weaknesses/
What is Child Sexual Abuse? Non-contact abuse or "Unsafe Actions"? Ten Myths & Facts about Child Sexual Abuse??
From http://www.childlineindia.org.in/
WATCH: Educational video at http://www.thebetterindia.com/32024/video-short-film-on-child-sexual-abuse-komal/
http://www.childlineindia.org.in/Understanding-Child-Sexual-Abuse.htm
WATCH: Educational video at http://www.thebetterindia.com/32024/video-short-film-on-child-sexual-abuse-komal/
What is Child Sexual Abuse?
- Have you ever been followed by someone known or unknown to you?
- Has anyone made lewd comments, sung songs with sexual innuendoes, passed remarks about you or your body?
- Has anyone flashed/exhibited his genitals to you in a public or private place?
- Have you ever been touched, groped and fondled against your wish?
- Has anyone asked or forced you to touch his/her genitals against your wish?
For many of us, particularly women, the answer to at least 2 of the questions posed above is in the affirmative; most times such experiences have occurred in our childhood or adolescence but not necessarily restricted to these stages. Would we term such experiences as sexually abusive? For many of us there would be some hesitation in doing so; a few others would unequivocally term the experiences as sexually abusive. What could be the reason for this divided opinion about what constitutes sexual abuse? For one, among many of us there is little clarity about sexual abuse. Can abuse happen without touching? What if the incident is a stray, one time experience? Doesn't 'abuse' mean something happening over a period of time, over and over again? Can people known and unknown to us be sexually abusive? Or is it only strangers who sexually abuse?
Child sexual abuse has existed in all societies for centuries. There are many definitions of child sexual abuse. The standing committee on sexually abused children (Bajpai, 2003) has defined Child Sexual Abuse as 'Any child below the age of consent may be deemed to have been sexually abused when a sexually mature person has by design or by neglect of their usual societal or specific responsibility in relation to the child engaged or permitted engagement of that child in any activity of a sexual nature which is intended to lead to the sexual gratification of the sexually mature person. This definition pertains whether or not it involves genital or physical contact, whether or not initiated by the child and whether or not there is a discernible harmful outcome in the short run.'
The United Nations has defined child sexual abuse as contacts or interactions between a child and an older or more knowledgeable child or adult (a stranger, sibling or person in position of authority, a parent or a caretaker) when the child is being used as an object of gratification for the older child's or adult's sexual needs. These contacts or interactions are carried out against the child using force, trickery, bribes, threats or pressure (UNICEF, 2003). In such circumstances the child is never able to make a free and informed decision and can never be said to have consented. The NSW Child Protection Council definition states, 'child sexual assault occurs when an adult or someone bigger than a child uses his power or authority over the child and takes advantage of the child's trust and respect to involve the child in sexual activity. In all cases the offender / abuser has more power than the child and misuses that power to take advantage of the child's.
Inherent in the various definitions are concepts of violation of trust, abuse of power, the child's inability to consent, the age differential between the abuser and the child, the cognitive, emotional, psycho-sexual development level of the child and the sexual intent of gratification. Thus sexually abusive acts against children encompass a range of behaviours along the non-contact-contact continuum and include the following:
Non-contact abuse or "Unsafe Actions" are:
- Following or stalking a child Using sexually suggestive language with the child that includes lewd comments about the child or her/his body parts, stories or songs with a sexual overtone, sexual innuendos.
- Showing the child pornographic material - pictures, films, videos or taking the child's pictures in semi nude or nude state or in sexually suggestive postures.
- Watching the child undress, bathe, urinate or defecate or forcing the child to do all this in the presence of the adult.
- Masturbating in front of the child Exhibiting one's genitals in front of the child or asking the child to do the same
- Contact abuse or "Unsafe Touch" includes Touching, fondling, caressing, kissing the child's body parts including her/his genitals
- Having the child touch, caress, fondle, kiss the body parts or genitals of the adult.
- Masturbating the child Inserting finger, tongue, penis or any other object in the child?s mouth, vagina or anus.
- Forced sexual intercourse or rape that includes both vaginal and or anal penetration.
Ten Myths & Facts about Child Sexual Abuse
Myth 1: Only strangers abuse children sexually
Fact: Danger from strangers is only a small part of the problem. Research evidence world over indicates that in a majority of cases, (upto 85%) the child's relatives, family, friends or someone known and trusted by the child is involved
Fact: Danger from strangers is only a small part of the problem. Research evidence world over indicates that in a majority of cases, (upto 85%) the child's relatives, family, friends or someone known and trusted by the child is involved
Myth 2: Both women and men sexually abuse children
Fact: An overwhelming majority of those who sexually abuse children is men although women are the ones who spend most time with children. Only a small minority of women report to have abused children.
Fact: An overwhelming majority of those who sexually abuse children is men although women are the ones who spend most time with children. Only a small minority of women report to have abused children.
Myth 3: Men who sexually abused child are mentally sick or perverted
Fact: Prevalence of child sexual abuse ranges between 30 to 85% in any society depending on the definition used for child sexual abuse. Mental illness on the other hand accounts for not more than 15% of the total population. If those who sexually abuse children were truly sick or perverted then we are living in a .sick and perverted. society. Unfortunately the men who sexually abuse children are often ordinary, respectable men holding positions of responsibility in the family, society, workplace and fulfilling their duties as per the demand of their role.
Fact: Prevalence of child sexual abuse ranges between 30 to 85% in any society depending on the definition used for child sexual abuse. Mental illness on the other hand accounts for not more than 15% of the total population. If those who sexually abuse children were truly sick or perverted then we are living in a .sick and perverted. society. Unfortunately the men who sexually abuse children are often ordinary, respectable men holding positions of responsibility in the family, society, workplace and fulfilling their duties as per the demand of their role.
Myth 4:
Child sexual abuse happens only in poor or problem families Fact: Child sexual abuse cuts across classes, caste, religious and educational barriers and occurs irrespective of what the background of the abuser and the child is.
Child sexual abuse happens only in poor or problem families Fact: Child sexual abuse cuts across classes, caste, religious and educational barriers and occurs irrespective of what the background of the abuser and the child is.
Myth 5: When children say they have been abused, it is often a figment of their imagination or fantasy.
Fact: Most times, children are unable to disclose or talk about abuse. In rare instances, when they do talk, it is not their imagination or fantasy but very real; children need to be believed and supported if they talk about any sexual touching or if they express any reservations about interacting with particular adults.
Fact: Most times, children are unable to disclose or talk about abuse. In rare instances, when they do talk, it is not their imagination or fantasy but very real; children need to be believed and supported if they talk about any sexual touching or if they express any reservations about interacting with particular adults.
Myth 6: Only beautiful or sexually precocious children are abused.
Fact: All children, irrespective of their age, colour, family background, sexual knowledge are vulnerable to abuse. They are perceived as easy targets because of the power the abuser has and the inability of children to speak up or stop abuse.
Fact: All children, irrespective of their age, colour, family background, sexual knowledge are vulnerable to abuse. They are perceived as easy targets because of the power the abuser has and the inability of children to speak up or stop abuse.
Myth 7: Children enjoy being touched sexually, that is the reason they do not report sexual abuse
Fact: Children do not report abuse for several reasons: They are afraid no one will believe them, they are afraid that the abuser may harm or kill them or their loved ones, they are afraid they will lose the love of their parents and near and dear ones, they do not have a language to disclose abuse. At no point does a child enjoy the sexual attention of an adult; children feel extremely overwhelmed and distressed by such attention irrespective of how their body responds to sexual touching.
Fact: Children do not report abuse for several reasons: They are afraid no one will believe them, they are afraid that the abuser may harm or kill them or their loved ones, they are afraid they will lose the love of their parents and near and dear ones, they do not have a language to disclose abuse. At no point does a child enjoy the sexual attention of an adult; children feel extremely overwhelmed and distressed by such attention irrespective of how their body responds to sexual touching.
Myth 8: We can tell if a child is sexually abused
Fact: Children are experts at hiding their pain. It is difficult to say from external appearance if the child is sexually abused. However, adults need to be alert to any changes in the child's behavior, performance at school, emotionality, fear of certain places or people, resistance to go or meet some people and sleeping and eating patterns. A traumatic experience in a child's life is often expressed through indirect means. Also many children may not show any change in their behaviors or other patterns until much later.
Fact: Children are experts at hiding their pain. It is difficult to say from external appearance if the child is sexually abused. However, adults need to be alert to any changes in the child's behavior, performance at school, emotionality, fear of certain places or people, resistance to go or meet some people and sleeping and eating patterns. A traumatic experience in a child's life is often expressed through indirect means. Also many children may not show any change in their behaviors or other patterns until much later.
Myth 9: Child Sexual Abuse can never happen in one's home.
Fact: Almost 30-50% children are abused by persons known to them; relatives, family friends, neighbours, drivers, watchmen, doctors, religious leaders. Such abuse often takes place in one's home which is considered as a .safe haven.. The abuser enjoys the trust of the family members and has easy access to the child.
Fact: Almost 30-50% children are abused by persons known to them; relatives, family friends, neighbours, drivers, watchmen, doctors, religious leaders. Such abuse often takes place in one's home which is considered as a .safe haven.. The abuser enjoys the trust of the family members and has easy access to the child.
Myth 10: Boys cannot be abused
Fact: Although more girls are reported to be sexually abused, (one in every four) research indicates one in every seven boy's world over are abused. These are just a few of the many myths that abound in every society. Myths help us in denying the fact the Child Sexual Abuse is very real, very personal; they keep us from scrutinizing the men we know, love and respect. They help us brush child sexual abuse under the carpet, falsely believing our own children cannot be abused and the abuser will almost always be unknown to us. It is time, as adults, as responsible adults who want to care for and protect our children to be alert, aware and stop child sexual abuse.
Fact: Although more girls are reported to be sexually abused, (one in every four) research indicates one in every seven boy's world over are abused. These are just a few of the many myths that abound in every society. Myths help us in denying the fact the Child Sexual Abuse is very real, very personal; they keep us from scrutinizing the men we know, love and respect. They help us brush child sexual abuse under the carpet, falsely believing our own children cannot be abused and the abuser will almost always be unknown to us. It is time, as adults, as responsible adults who want to care for and protect our children to be alert, aware and stop child sexual abuse.
Bibliography:
Bajpai, A. (2003). Child Rights in India: Law, Policy and Practice, New Delhi, Oxford University Press UNICEF. (2003). The State of the World's children, NY, USA
* Dr Shubhada Maitra is currently Associate Professor and Chairperson, Centre for Health and Mental Health, School of Social Work, Tata Institute of Social Sciences, Deonar Mumbai. Her PhD thesis was on Mental Health Correlates of Child Sexual Abuse
http://www.childlineindia.org.in/Understanding-Child-Sexual-Abuse.htm
Thursday, 17 September 2015
சவப்பெட்டிக்குள் இறந்த கணவன், அருகில் மனைவியும் குழந்தைகளும் சிரித்தபடி .....!!!
சவப்பெட்டிக்குள் இறந்த கணவன். அருகில் மனைவியும் குழந்தைகளும் சிரித்தபடி வெளியான புகைப்படத்தைப் பார்த்து அதிர்ச்சியடையாதவர்களே இருக்க முடியாது. அமெரிக்காவின் சின்சினாட்டியில் வசித்த 26 வயது மைக் செட்டில்ஸ் ஹெராயின் போதைப் பொருளை அளவுக்கு அதிகமாக எடுத்துக்கொண்டதால் மரணம் அடைந்துவிட்டார். அவரது மனைவி இவா ஹாலண்ட், “இந்தப் புகைப்படம் உங்களுக்கு அதிர்ச்சி ஏற்படுத்தலாம். என்னை மனிதாபிமானம் அற்றவளாகக் காட்டலாம். மைக்கின் கதையைக் கேட்டுவிட்டு, முடிவு செய்துகொள்ளுங்கள். மைக்கை சிறிய வயதில் இருந்தே காதலித்து வருகிறேன். திருமணம் மூலம் அழகான இரண்டு குழந்தைகள். ஹெராயினுக்கு மைக் அடிமையான விஷயம் எனக்கு தாமதமாகத்தான் தெரிந்தது. எவ்வளவோ பேசிப் பார்த்தேன். கெஞ்சிப் பார்த்தேன். அழுது பார்த்தேன். ஒருகட்டத்தில் உடல்நலம் மோசமாக பாதிக்கப்பட்டு, மறுவாழ்வு மையத்தில் 4 மாதங்கள் சிகிச்சை பெற்றுத் திரும்பினார். மகிழ்ச்சியான வாழ்க்கை திரும்பக் கிடைத்துவிட்டது என்று நினைத்தேன். ஆனால் சிறிது காலத்தில் மீண்டும் ஹெராயினை நாடிவிட்டார். எங்களைப் பிரிந்திருந்த மைக்கால் ஹெராயினைப் பிரிந்திருக்க முடியவில்லை. அளவுக்கு அதிகமான ஹெராயினை எடுத்துக்கொண்டு மனைவியையும் குழந்தைகளையும் தவிக்கவிட்டுச் சென்றுவிட்டார். ஹெராயினுக்கு என் கணவர் பலி ஆனார் என்று நான் எழுதினால் ஆயிரம் செய்திகளில் ஒன்றாக மாறியிருக்கும். எனக்கும் என் குழந்தைகளுக்கும் ஏற்பட்ட நிலை இன்னொரு குடும்பத்துக்கு ஏற்படக்கூடாது என்று முடிவு செய்தேன். விழிப்புணர்வு ஏற்படுத்தவே துயரத்தை நெஞ்சில் சுமந்துகொண்டு, கணவனின் உடலோடு சிரித்தபடி புகைப்படம் எடுத்து வெளியிட்டேன். நான் நினைத்தது போல மிகப் பெரிய தாக்கத்தை இந்தப் புகைப்படம் ஏற்படுத்திவிட்டது. நிறைய பேர் என்னிடம் ஆலோசனை கேட்கிறார்கள். எப்படியாவது தங்கள் கணவரைக் காப்பாற்றிவிடத் துடிக்கிறார்கள். சிலர் போதை பழக்கத்தை விட்டுவிடுவதாகக் கூறியிருக்கிறார்கள். எனக்கு இது போதும். மைக்கின் ஆன்மா என்னைப் புரிந்துகொள்ளும்” என்கிறார்.
Say no to DRUGS/ALCOHOL/SMOKING etc, a single wrong step may drag you into quicksand!!
Faliures and Enemies are our best teachers and friends!!! - Dr.Jayanthasri Balakrishnan,PSG College of Arts, Coimbatore
Speech by Dr.Jayanthasri Balakrishnan - PSG College of Arts, Coimbatore on various good attitudes - failure, enemies(Tamil)
Full Video at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PN-EQj0iujs
Other Speeches : https://www.youtube.com/user/jayanthasribala
Facebook : https://www.facebook.com/jayanthasri.balakrishnan
Blog: http://jayanthasribala.blogspot.in/
Email : jayanthasri@
Good attitudes for happier life :)
Read this carefully and relate these 10 Commandments with your life and enjoy it ............
1) Heavy rains remind us of challenges in life. Never ask for a lighter rain. Just pray for a better umbrella. That is attitude.
2) When flood comes, fish eat ants & when flood recedes, ants eat fish.Only time matters. Just hold on, Nature gives opportunity to everyone!
3) Life is not about finding the right person, but creating the right relationship, it's not how we care in the beginning, but how much we care till ending.
4) Some people always throw stones in your path. It depends on you what you make with them, Wall or Bridge? Remember you are the architect of your life.
5) Every problem has (n+1) solutions, where n is the number of solutions that you have tried and 1 is that you have not tried. That’s life.
6) It is not important to hold all the good cards in life. But it’s important how well you play with the cards which you hold.
7) Often when we lose all hope & think this is the end, Nature smiles and says, `Relax dear it’s just a bend. Not the end'. Have Faith and have a successful life.
8) When you are sad, try to cheer up just go to the mirror and say, `Damn I am really so cute` and you will overcome your sadness.
9) One of the basic differences between Nature and human is, Nature gives, gives and forgives. But human gets, gets, gets and forgets. Be thankful in life!
10) Only two types of persons are happy in this world. First is Mad and second is Child. Be Mad to achieve what you desire and be a Child to enjoy what you have achieved.
Wonderful thoughts, thanks to the one who listed it!!!
1) Heavy rains remind us of challenges in life. Never ask for a lighter rain. Just pray for a better umbrella. That is attitude.
2) When flood comes, fish eat ants & when flood recedes, ants eat fish.Only time matters. Just hold on, Nature gives opportunity to everyone!
3) Life is not about finding the right person, but creating the right relationship, it's not how we care in the beginning, but how much we care till ending.
4) Some people always throw stones in your path. It depends on you what you make with them, Wall or Bridge? Remember you are the architect of your life.
5) Every problem has (n+1) solutions, where n is the number of solutions that you have tried and 1 is that you have not tried. That’s life.
6) It is not important to hold all the good cards in life. But it’s important how well you play with the cards which you hold.
7) Often when we lose all hope & think this is the end, Nature smiles and says, `Relax dear it’s just a bend. Not the end'. Have Faith and have a successful life.
8) When you are sad, try to cheer up just go to the mirror and say, `Damn I am really so cute` and you will overcome your sadness.
9) One of the basic differences between Nature and human is, Nature gives, gives and forgives. But human gets, gets, gets and forgets. Be thankful in life!
10) Only two types of persons are happy in this world. First is Mad and second is Child. Be Mad to achieve what you desire and be a Child to enjoy what you have achieved.
Wonderful thoughts, thanks to the one who listed it!!!
Golden rules for ageing gracefully :)
Golden rules for ageing gracefully ~
1. Live in your own place to enjoy independence and privacy.
2. Hold on your bank deposits and assets with yourself or your spouse.
3. Don't depend on your children's promise to care for you when you grow old, as their priorities change with time.
4. Expand your circle of friends to include those who will outlive you.
5. Do not compare, expect nothing from others.
6. Do not meddle in the life of your children. Let them live their life - not yours.
7. Do not use 'old age' as your shield and justification to demand 'care, respect and attention'.
8. Listen to what others say but think and act independently.
9. 'Pray' but do not 'beg' even from God; seek His grace.
10. And finally DO NOT RETIRE from your life.
1. Live in your own place to enjoy independence and privacy.
2. Hold on your bank deposits and assets with yourself or your spouse.
3. Don't depend on your children's promise to care for you when you grow old, as their priorities change with time.
4. Expand your circle of friends to include those who will outlive you.
5. Do not compare, expect nothing from others.
6. Do not meddle in the life of your children. Let them live their life - not yours.
7. Do not use 'old age' as your shield and justification to demand 'care, respect and attention'.
8. Listen to what others say but think and act independently.
9. 'Pray' but do not 'beg' even from God; seek His grace.
10. And finally DO NOT RETIRE from your life.
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